Now if you know me, you know that I'm terribly optimistic, annoyingly cheerful, and reeeeeally stubborn. If you know these things, you also know that I am blunt and brutally honest. So when I say that this past month has been quite rough, pock-marked with periods of hell, you know that I'm not exaggerating. Many of you will have heard at least bits of this story from my mother or me or one of the very few people that were privileged enough to get to hear about this first-hand when it was all going down. So to catch everyone up, let me tell you a tale...
Let me preface this by saying that, as some people know, I had decided to participate in a half-ironman in August. So in mid-April I began training. 6 days a week, most days doing two training sessions a day. This decision fed into my stubbornness about some of this and also much of the angst I have been (and admittedly am still) going through.
Shortly after beginning training, I started having some weird sinus issues. I thought it odd, but crossed my fingers and attributed it to more dust in the air and maybe some new seasonal allergies. I was in the midst of training, I couldn't afford to get sick. So I decided I wasn't sick and just pressed on with my busy life. On May 4th I woke with a congested nose and dry mouth as usual, but now my throat was a little sore and my tonsils were a bit swollen. I hate hate hate going to the doctor, I would much rather let my body fight off whatever invaders dared enter my territory. However, precisely because I was in the midst of training, I couldn't afford to get really sick. So I took myself off to a walk-in clinic to get checked out.
The doctor checked me out. Not much to see at that point. Tonsils a little swollen, a little painful, a couple of white spots on them, but that was about it. I was alert, cheerful, just being proactive. He swabbed for strep, which came back negative. So he gave me my options - there was a small chance I had mono, but I had no symptoms to point to that besides the swollen tonsils. The more likely answer was just that I had a virus that would need to run it's course. We both were pretty sure it was the latter, and I didn't want to get a blood test because, on the off chance that it was mono, the doctor would order me to stop all activity for two weeks. As it was, since there weren't really any strong indicators towards mono, we could fairly safely assume it was some other nondescript virus and leave it at that.
Next day I woke up and my tonsils had ballooned up and were muuuuuuch more painful (around a level 7, with 10 being bad enough that I would have gone straight to the ER). Everything was swollen enough that my voice was changed - it sounded like I had a cold (though I had no drainage or congestion to speak of). I started downing ibuprofen and kept going - the ibuprofen didn't help the pain, but I know it is an anti-inflammatory so I kept taking it. I slept for roughly 11-12 hours that night, with the thought that a good night's rest would set it on a regression. Nope. Woke up the next day feeling even worse, and now my voice was sounding reeeally strange. I worked through the day with a pain level of about 8, still choking down the ibuprofen, but that was really the only solid anything that I was taking in. I hadn't eaten real food since Monday sometime - I had no appetite for it, and swallowing was waaay too painful to even consider it. I had a milkshake or two those two days, but that was it.
Late afternoon on day 2 I decided I needed something more because the ibuprofen was doing nothing for me and I wasn't getting any better. I called my doctor's office and left a message for my primary, letting her know that I was much worse than when I had come in on Monday. I didn't hear from her by the end of the workday, so I went home, slept fitfully for about 10 hours before waking up finally because of pain. My doctor's nurse called me back first thing the next morning saying that they had put in an order for a mono test, but that I didn't need to come in for an office visit just yet. I got the blood test within half an hour and got a call from the nurse again - I had tested positive for mono. Mono is a virus, so all you can do is treat the symptoms and wait it out. I took that day and the next off from ProFormance so I could rest during the day, but I knew I would need to work that Friday night and Saturday day (day 4 and 5) at Birch & Barley - it was WSU graduation weekend, so they needed all hands on deck.
The nurse told me to take ibuprofen (avoild Tylenol) and rest. When I informed her that I had been taking ibuprofen for 2 days already without any relief, she recommended I try Aleve instead. I was annoyed that they wouldn't give me anything for the pain or swelling, but I dutifully went and bought Aleve and then went home to rest. 6 hours later I called their office again and left a message that the Aleve wasn't working, I needed something else. When the nurse called me back shortly thereafter I was told to take ibuprofen and do a saltwater gargle. I informed the nurse that I had already done ibuprofen for 2 days without any changes in my symptoms or pain. Her response was that I should just try the pills and the gargle and I should see significant improvement; ibuprofen is an anti-inflammatory and SHOULD help. I reiterated that it hadn't and she said again that it SHOULD. So I dutifully switched back to the ibuprofen and started gargling. My tonsils at this point were so swollen they were both touching my uvula, and I couldn't really see the back of my throat. At all.
3 hours later, getting close to end of business day, I was fed up. I called the office and left a message that I needed something else. I described how bad the swelling was yet again (I had been described all my symptoms and pain levels every time I talked with the nurse), making the point that swallowing was really painful and I wasn't able to really do anything but liquids. I got a call back - my doctor had put in a prescription for a corticosteroid: prednisone. Much dancing happened when I got that call. Finally I might get some help! I picked up the prescription and took the first pill that night. The steroid kicked in an hour and a half after I took it and I slept like a rock through the night - my pain was still at a 5-6, but that was so much better than where it had been. I rested most of the rest of the day, but around the middle of the day I could feel the steroid beginning to wear off. I went to work that night, but I was able to take to the second dose of steroids close to the beginning of my shift so I was only in level 8 pain for about an hour, then it dropped down to a 6. I looked at my tonsils that night - they looked ever so slightly less grotesquely swollen. As in, I thought that maybe they were pressing up on my uvula quite as much anymore. Yay, steroids working, I'll be better in no time!
If only...
This pattern continued over the weekend. The pain was only being cut to a 6-7 and the steroids were wearing off quicker with every dose. I continued choking down ibuprofen and doing the stupid saltwater gargle just so I could say that I had given it a fair shot. My tonsils had shrunk every so slightly more by Saturday afternoon. By Monday morning they were growing again, and everything in my neck area was swollen. I was not even drinking clear liquids at that point because it hurt so much to swallow. I called for a refill of the steroids, knowing my doctor wasn't in until the next day anyway. But I had one more dose of steroids to take so I should be covered. The next morning, all hell broke loose (essentially). I called the doctor's office first thing in the morning and asked for something for the pain to go with the steroids. I had had enough of this taking pills that weren't doing anything simply because they SHOULD be helping. Bullshit. I was in intense pain, had been for 8 days and I was done. I've given the OTC drugs a really really fair shot - now put me out of my misery.
The call I got back from the doctor ended with me in tears. The nurse told me the doctor would neither give me something for pain nor refill the steroids. The steroids were just supposed to be a short course to knock the swelling back. I described in explicit detail to her how back the swelling was, the fact that I wasn't even able to swallow clear liquids, that it took me two or three tries just to swallow my own saliva, that I couldn't sleep because of the pain, that I was snoring when I breathed through my nose, that talking hurt like like hell, everything. She checked with the doctor, but the response was still no. I practically hung up on her, on the verge of having a complete breakdown. I called my mom, not quite sobbing but pretty close to. I didn't know what to do, I was scared about how bad it was going to get, and I was breaking down from the pain.
She told me I needed to go somewhere, anywhere, else. Once I had calmed down a little I called the ENT (Ear, Nose, Throat) doctor and begged the receptionist for help. She told me to come down, they would work me in that morning. I went straight over, filled out the paperwork, and waited. Within 45 minutes they got me back. Now, I am me, and even though talking hurt like hell, I can't help but be chatty. So I was chatty chatty with the doctor, Dr. Goodrich. He took a peak in my mouth, but everything in my mouth was swollen he couldn't really tell what was going on. He told me that there was a chance I had a peritonsillar abscess, but with how clearly I was speaking he didn't really think I had that. People with peritonsillar abscesses usually can't really speak at all. But the only way he would know if it was that or just really bad mono was with a CT. He had his nurse get on the phone right away with my insurance to get it authorized - he was going to have me worked in at the imaging department.
As soon as the authorization went through they sent me down to the radiology department, where I was immediately taken back for the scan. The tech asked me questions about what I was coming for and everything, and again I was chatty chatty. He told me I would need to hang out in the CT room while the radiologist read the CT, as per usual. A few minutes later the tech returned and told me that the radiologist wouldn't let me leave until he had talked with Dr Goodrich on the phone - there was A LOT of swelling. So I waited again, and when the tech returned shortly thereafter I was told that Dr. Goodrich was waiting for me upstairs and that I was to go straight up.
Dr. Goodrich took me straight back to one of the rooms and told me again that there was a lot of swelling. The reason was that I had bilateral peritonsillar abscesses. Having one peritonsillar abscess is rare, much less having two of them. On top of that, in the doctor's own words, "one of them is humongous!". He offered to show me the CT, which of course I jumped at. The biggest one was 2.4cm by 2.6cm! That's huge! The other one was about half that size. He took me back to the procedure room, and we spent the next 10 minutes numbing the roof of my mouth and draining the abscesses. One of the most vile experiences of my life, hands down. But it's pretty gross, so I will spare you the details. You can ask me in person if you want the details.
When the first one popped, there was an immediate release of pressure and an immediate lessening of my pain. Not by a lot, but a when it's that bad, a little is a lot. He gave me prescriptions for liquid ibuprofen and liquid hydrocodone and sent me home to rest and with a recommendation to schedule a tonsillectomy. I took them as soon as I got home and spent the rest of the day (to my roommate's amusement) in a euphoric, loopy, pain-free daze, drifting in and out of consciousness. When I woke up the next day, it was a complete 180. I could swallow. My pain was around a 2. I could see my throat. My tonsils were already pulling away from my uvula. Everything just looked and felt not swollen. It was fabulous.
Within days I was feeling almost completely normal. My mouth was sore for a while, but that faded and I was happy and relatively happy. I was still pretty tired, and slept a lot, because I did still technically have mono. But compared with the hell I had been living in, it was pure bliss.
That's not the end of this tale either. Just over a week ago, on Tuesday, I woke up with swallowing hurting a little and my tonsils swollen a little bit more again. I felt like I had a fever, though I didn't technically have a fever, I just really didn't feel well at all. I left work early, and called my mom. Asked if she thought I was being paranoid for being afraid that the abscesses were recurring (which only happens in about 10-15% of cases). She said no, I was not being paranoid and should go back to Dr Goodrich. I went over, and they worked me in again. Turns out I was right! These abscesses are caused by an infection in the tonsils, so the only way to stop them from happening again is to having a tonsillectomy. Since I already had my surgery scheduled for the end of the month and didn't want to do it sooner if I didn't need to (though Dr Goodrich did offer to do the surgery that Friday..), he gave me a week-long course of antibiotics and steroids....with the understanding that if I get worse I have to go back in to see him and we will do surgery at the end of the day. O.O
So that puts me where I am at today. I finished the drugs a couple of days ago and I'm feeling right as rain again, so fingers crossed. My blasted mouth only has to make it two more weeks until my surgery date. Many of my plans hinge on the surgery not happening until it is scheduled, so by golly my tonsils will behave!
I'm feeling much better now, and I can look back and joke about a lot of it. I don't regret anything except that I didn't act sooner and get in to Dr Goodrich before the weekend. I should have, and I know I should have. But at the time, even though I knew my doctor was blowing me off and I was in serious trouble, I wanted her to be right that I just needed to wait it out. I really wanted it to be something that I would sleep off and be fine. And it took my mother telling a panicking me that I'm not crazy and that something was terribly wrong to finally accept what I already knew. It's funny how twice during this whole ordeal I needed to call my mom, not only because she's my mommy, but also because I needed her to tell me to do what I already I needed to do (I just didn't want to do it). Because both times I knew I needed to go to Dr Goodrich - I just was too stubborn to let myself accept the fact that I was in trouble.
If you haven't heard of peritonsillar abscesses before, take it from me - they're bad. Abscesses are never good, but these ones are particularly nasty. They develop mainly from untreated tonsillitis - the tissue surrounding the tonsils becomes infected and develops these abscesses. Their location is what makes them particularly worrisome. They are, literally, in your head, and if let go too long can infect important blood vessels, travel into your lungs and cause pneumonia, infect your jugular, etc. There's a good size list of the possible badness to come from these little spawns of Satan. You wanna know more, google them. They're nasty buggers.
One of the most annoying consequences of all this is that a) my birthday was in the midst of the 8-day hell, so it was a pretty crappy birthday as birthdays go, and b) I essentially lost all of the month of May. So I'm still playing catch up on seeing people, paying bills, getting useful life things accomplished on time. You get my drift.
On the upside, I beat my brother Darien for worst mono complications (people keep telling me that shouldn't have been a competition to begin with....), and I've become something of a legend at the ENT office (which tells you something of how bad it was right there!), so there's something come out of it..
All in all, it's been a month to beat many months - but I got quite the story out of it, and that's what life is about - collecting stories to weave into the tapestry of our lives.
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